The Twilight Back Cover and First Chapter

First, the reason why I didn't do the front cover is that it's only the title of the book and the author's name so no reason really to take a look at the front cover. My sister pointed out the back cover, and I was intrigued about what was on it. I will now quote what the back cover says: "About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that part might be-that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Ok, to start off, the first sentence doesn't even sound like a complete sentence. Now maybe adding a colon where the period is would be better because she is listing.  Continuing "Edward was a vampire.", is ok that is making a statement. The second part was he hungered for her blood. That makes sense as well because he is a vampire. Duh. The third part was she was, "Unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him." Why would you want to be around someone who wants to drink your blood, seriously. Second how would you love someone who wants to drink your blood? If it was me I'd be running for the hills. In slow motion. I was confused about what the word "irrevocably" meant. I had an idea of what it was but my sister and I looked it up in Webster's dictionary and it defined it as, "Incapable of being revoked or recalled." Let's take a look at the last sentence of the quoted section again. Unconditionally makes sense, but how could you love someone unconditionally who wants to EAT YOU!?!? Back to irrevocably, she is incapable of revoking her love for him. I would revoke my love for him quite quickly, again, HE WANTS TO EAT HER! Keep these thoughts in mind as we take a look at the first chapter.
CHAPTER 1
My sister is reading to me the first chapter so I can hear what it sounds like out loud.  The first page I found something quite funny. The sentence states, "I was wearing my favorite shirt- sleeveless, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture." How does a shirt exactly mean a farewell gesture? Unless the shirt is waving good-bye or the shirt says "FAREWELL"printed across the front, I don't see how a shirt has a means of being a farewell gesture.
The end of the first page is one of the most depressing introduction to a book. I really wished we would've skipped that page.
Bella says that she exiled herself with great horror to a place she detests. Now, think about this. I would exile myself to Hawaii but not to a place that is gloomy and be miserable. Just a thought. I would want to be miserable in Hawaii, if I had to be miserable. Her mom even told her that she doesn't have to go to Forks.
On the second page, Bella says that her mom looks her except with short hair and laugh lines. In case no one picked this up, we don't even know what Bella looks like. AT ALL. We don't know if she fat, thin, brown hair, blonde hair, blue eye, or even what color skin she has.
When Bella and her dad are heading on the way to her dad's house he brought up finding a good car from a friend of his. He brings up a memory of him, Bella, and his friend going fishing. She says she doesn't remember because she does a good job of, "blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory." Fishing is somehow painful to Bella.
Again with the most depressing book award. When Bella arrives home she is excited about her new car. But Bella has hormonal problems because not 2 minutes later she is upstairs unpacking and, "staring dejectedly out the window and letting just a few tears escape." Please cry me a river.
First on page 10, she says everything she ISN'T but all you know is that she is ivory skinned and slender. Wow shocker. Anyways we still haven't figured out what she IS though.
Still on page 10, Bella is going to clean herself in her "communal" bathroom she shares only with her dad. Definition of communal is pertaining to a community, which is more than three people. If only her and her dad are sharing with each other how is it a "communal" bathroom? Just wondering.
Just to point out, on page 11 she starts a sentence with a conjunction. It's really annoying.
On page 23, "But I saw his posture change from the corner of my eye. He was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of his chair and averting his face like he smelled something bad." Bella sniffs he hair "inconspicuously" to see if it's her. (By the way I thought sniffing her hair "inconspicuously"was hilarious.) And it's not. If he had done that to me I would've asked, "Is there something wrong with my hygiene?"
There on page 24, Bella says her hair makes a dark curtain between her and Edward, which suggests that her hair is dark. FINALLY! We finally know what color hair she has!
Also on page 24 there is a weird phrase that states, "He didn't know me from Eve." Does anybody know what that means just from reading the book?
On page 25 this phrase is really confusing it says, "... and Edward Cullen was out of his seat. Fluidly he rose." If he's already out of his seat, how can he rise fluidly? It makes no sense whatsoever.
On page 27 she describes Edwards voice as low and attractive. How can a low voice be attractive? He's not even talking to her, he's talking to someone else.
Again on page 27 this girl Bella has issues, "But Edward Cullen's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at me-his face was absurdly handsome- with piercing, hate-filled eyes." How can someone's face be handsome if they are giving you a look like, "drop dead?" If I liked a guy and he gave me that look,  I would never think of him as handsome.
At the end of the chapter she is again in one of her depressing states of mind. Nothing is happy, even in the slightest bit. I'm almost tempted to say it's more depressing than The Scarlet Letter. So far nothing interesting just a girl with hormonal problems.
Coming soon, Chapter 2 of the most depressing book EVER.
-CJ